Gaslighting

Many people suffer from the manipulation of those around them, most often without knowing it. If manipulation takes many forms, gaslighting has recently come to light. But what is it exactly?

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1. WHAT IS GASLIGHTING ?

Gaslighting, which could be expressed as mental fogging, is a technique of manipulation and mental abuse that consists of distorting information and situations as well as doubting the victim’s word in order to reverse the roles of abuser/victim and encourage future abuse.

The name of this practice comes from the play Gas Light in which a husband tries to make his wife believe that she is imagining changes in their gas light at night when he is responsible for them, trying to hide his true actions.

This practice is rooted in the repetition of a relational pattern, it is not an isolated instance.

The dynamic is very asymmetrical, with on the one hand a partner constantly listening to the other, and giving more credit to the other’s word than to their own perceptions, and on the other hand, a partner constantly negating the other’s perception, and diminishing their emotional experience and abilities.

In a gaslighting interaction, one partner emerges as the winner and the other as the loser.

Gaslighting can take many forms, but several common behaviors can be found:

  • exaggerating the complexity of a situation to confuse the other person (“It’s more complicated than that, you wouldn’t understand.”)
  • simplifying a more complex situation to make the victim feel weak and powerless (“If you’re not happy, just leave, I’m not holding you back, the door is open.”)
  • pretending not to understand the victim (“I don’t understand what you’re saying, it’s nonsense”, “I don’t understand what I did wrong”)
  • questioning, often vehemently, the victim’s memories, even when they are correct (“I never said that, you’re wrong/lying.”)
  • making the victim believe that their needs and emotions are trivial or too important to deal with on their own (“You’re overreacting,” “You’re too sensitive,” “You’re too fragile”)
  • pretending to forget how things happened, or denying that they really happened or happened that way
  • using insults and verbal abuse, usually disguised as humour
  • blame the victim rather than the abuser (“I’m sorry you feel that way [as a result of the abuser’s action],” “You’re the problem, not the others.”)

In short, the abuser will diminish the importance of the victim’s emotional experience, make the victim doubt his or her own perceptions, shut down the conversation when the victim tries to be heard, and shift all the blame onto the victim.

Gaslighting is a manipulative technique that takes place over time, gradually undermining the victim’s mental defenses and becoming more effective over time.

This practice rarely occurs alone and is often used to facilitate further abuse and maintain a dominant/dominated relationship.

2. WHAT ARE THE EFFECTS OF GASLIGHTING ?

By hearing their words and perceptions questioned, gaslighting victims end up doubting themselves, their memories and their actions. This can also be accompanied by a feeling of going crazy.

The victim of gaslighting gradually loses confidence in themselves, as their words are constantly questioned, and the expression of their personal experience is denied.

The victim dares less and less to express their feelings or their vision of things, because the abuser’s reactions can be extreme or violent, most often on a psychological level.

The abuse is denied or normalized by the abuser (and sometimes by those around him), and the victim ends up thinking that the situation is normal, which leads him not to seek help when it is needed.

In most cases, over the long term, the victim’s defense mechanisms have been deactivated by the accumulation of abuse. Learned helplessness prevents the victim from fighting or running away, convinced that it is useless, that she will not succeed or that it will be worse if she tries to get out of it.

In some cases, which are rarer today, gaslighting could go as far as committing the victim to a psychiatric institution.

3. HOW TO HELP SOMEONE WHO IS A VICTIM OF GASLIGHTING ?

One must be particularly vigilant when dealing with a victim of gaslighting, because their perception of reality is extremely fragile. Even in the absence of the abuser, the victim will question thier experiences, their emotions, their life. Care must be taken not to reinforce gaslighting by accident.

The first step is to ask the victim to tell the story as they remember it, focusing on their story and their experience, regardless of what others may have told later. If the victim expresses their feelings, it is important to validate and normalize them.

We will then work on the balance between trusting one’s own word and trusting the word of others. We can, for example, base ourselves on events where the aggressor is absent, and see if the victim also doubts his or her own experience in those moments.

It is important to remember that human memory is fallible, especially in times of stress. It is normal not to remember every detail perfectly. However, the feeling of the events as a whole is much less altered.

The work with a victim of gaslighting can be very long. It is a matter of deconstructing an altered vision of reality in order to regain confidence in one’s experience. It is important that the victim is no longer in contact with the abuser, who may redouble his or her efforts if he or she feels the victim slipping away.

In all cases, if you suspect that someone is being abused, the first priority is to intervene to get the person to safety, before starting any therapeutic process.

In case of emergency, call the emergency hotline.

Do you need further information or have any specific questions ?

FAQ

Virtual reality (VR) is an innovative technology that enables patients to be exposed to immersive and controlled environments, facilitating the management of numerous psychological and psychiatric disorders. Its use in mental health offers several advantages:
  • Gradual and Controlled Exposure: VR allows patients to confront anxiety-inducing situations in a secure environment, gradually adjusting the intensity of stimuli to promote habituation and emotional regulation.
  • Realistic and Reproducible Environments: Unlike traditional techniques, VR provides immersive scenarios that can be consistently reproduced, ensuring a coherent and effective approach.
  • Increased Patient Engagement: The interactive and immersive nature of VR enhances treatment adherence and motivates patients to continue their therapy.
  • Personalized Treatment: Virtual environments can be adapted to meet the specific needs of each patient.
  • Versatile Applications: VR is used to treat anxiety disorders (phobias, post-traumatic stress disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorders), addictions, mood disorders, and even cognitive remediation.
The use of virtual reality in healthcare is not new! It has been studied and utilized for over 30 years in the medical and psychological fields. As early as the 1990s, researchers began exploring its potential for treating anxiety disorders, particularly phobias and post-traumatic stress disorder. Since then, numerous scientific studies have confirmed its effectiveness in addressing various psychiatric, neurological, and cognitive disorders.
Today, VR is widely integrated into therapeutic and medical practices, with clinically validated protocols. It is used in hospitals, clinics, and psychologists' offices worldwide to provide patients with innovative, effective, and safe treatments.
To use virtual reality, one must immerse themselves in a virtual environment. There are several ways to achieve this.
In the past, the CAVE system (Cave Automatic Virtual Environment), a 3D setup consisting of multiple screen walls, was the primary method used. This system allowed users to be fully immersed in the virtual world, with their movements detected in real-time. However, this technology was expensive and not widely accessible.
Since around 2016, with the introduction of virtual reality headsets like the Oculus Rift and HTC Vive, VR has become much more accessible. These headsets immerse users in virtual reality through an enclosed screen that projects digital images. The user's head movements are tracked, enabling them to look around and interact with the environment as they would in the real world.
Today, VR headsets are wireless and standalone, providing maximum comfort and ease of use without requiring external sensors or cables.
A virtual environment is an immersive digital simulation created through virtual reality. It allows users to navigate in a 3D space that accurately replicates everyday situations or specific contexts.
In mental health, these environments are designed to help individuals gradually face certain situations, manage their emotions, or enhance cognitive skills. By interacting with these virtual spaces, patients can engage in meaningful experiences tailored to their needs.
You need to equip yourself with a virtual reality headset. Our software is compatible with Meta Quest 2, 3, and 3S. 
You will then only need an internet connection. 
Numerous studies confirm that virtual reality is safe to use. However, some restrictions are in place to protect users from potential adverse effects.
For instance, individuals with epilepsy and pregnant women should avoid this type of therapy.
As with any immersive technology, prolonged use may cause visual fatigue or mild discomfort, particularly for those sensitive to motion sickness. Therefore, it is recommended to take regular breaks and adjust session durations according to individual needs.
Virtual environments are designed to be gradual and controlled, minimizing the risk of excessive anxiety. Most users quickly adapt to immersion and experience the benefits of this innovative approach from the first sessions.
Anxiety disorders and phobias can be effectively treated using virtual reality. Patients are gradually and progressively exposed to anxiety-inducing situations in various environments while remaining in a safe space. This process helps develop a sense of habituation, ultimately reducing or even eliminating anxiety over time.
Behavioral and substance addictions can also be addressed through virtual reality. By incorporating synthetic stimuli into the environments that trigger craving responses, patients struggling with addiction can work on their cravings to diminish the urge to consume.
Additionally, multiple environments—such as bars, casinos, and social settings—enable cognitive work on dysfunctional beliefs associated with specific temptation scenarios.
Regarding eating disorders, virtual reality software helps target key etiological factors, such as body dysmorphia, allocentric lock (a tendency to focus on others rather than oneself), and food cravings.
Currently, our TERV (Virtual Reality Exposure Therapy) solutions include multiple software programs designed to address critical psychiatric, psychological, and neuropsychological determinants such as relaxation, cognitive stimulation, behavioral activation, and social skills training.
Reminiscence therapy is also a major therapeutic tool in treating depression. By allowing patients to relive sensations linked to past pleasurable activities (such as sports, driving, or traveling), virtual reality stimulates hypoactive brain areas, enhancing therapeutic success. VR serves as an excellent mediator for reigniting engagement in enjoyable activities.
Moreover, cognitive stimulation for elderly individuals is another area where virtual reality proves beneficial. By leveraging technology to make stimulation activities more engaging and accessible, patients and nursing home residents can improve executive functions and memory through specially designed applications.
Today, virtual reality in mental health care is advancing rapidly. Researchers, clinicians, and developers continue to explore new therapeutic targets to offer innovative and effective treatment solutions in the near future.
VR can be used by all healthcare professionals assisting patients with anxiety, phobias, post-traumatic stress disorders, addictions, or other psychological challenges.
It is particularly beneficial for psychologists, psychiatrists, neuropsychologists, specialized nurses, as well as psychomotor therapists, physiotherapists, dietitians, sophrologists, and hypnotherapists. With a wide range of immersive environments, VR enhances therapeutic approaches and provides innovative tools to improve patient care.
Healthcare providers incorporating virtual reality exposure therapy (VRET) expand their range of treatment options. VRET is a well-established therapeutic technique with scientific validation from cognitive-behavioral therapy research.
  • Professional Differentiation: Integrating VR into practice allows therapists to stand out from traditional treatment options.
  • Scientific Validation: VRET is backed by extensive research, reinforcing its credibility as an effective treatment method.
  • Improved Patient Engagement: The interactive nature of VR fosters greater patient involvement in therapy.
  • Time-Saving: VR provides direct access to various exposure environments without needing external logistics.

One of the considerable advantages of virtual reality is that it is effective on a wide spectrum of populations. Existing data from the literature on the subject shows us that it is entirely possible to expose a wide age group to virtual reality, with real therapeutic benefits.

The studies attest, in fact, to excellent feasibility and significant results; particularly in adults, in the treatment of anxiety disorders (including school phobia), autism, addictions, eating disorders, neuropsychological disorders, psychotic disorders and mood disorders.

The results are identical for adolescents with a significant added value concerning therapeutic engagement where virtual reality promotes adolescents' interest in their therapy.

Among elderly subjects, study results encourage the use of virtual reality with the aim of working on cognitive stimulation, on behavioral disorders but also on anxiety.

One of the major advantages of virtual reality is its effectiveness across a broad spectrum of the population. Existing literature on the subject shows that virtual reality can be used with individuals of various age groups, providing significant therapeutic benefits.
Studies confirm excellent feasibility and significant results, particularly among adults in the treatment of anxiety disorders (including school phobia), autism, addictions, eating disorders, neuropsychological disorders, psychotic disorders, and mood disorders.
The results are equally promising for adolescents, with a notable advantage in terms of therapeutic engagement, as virtual reality enhances their interest and participation in treatment.
For older adults, research supports the use of virtual reality to improve cognitive stimulation, behavioral disorders, and anxiety management.
However, people with epilepsy and pregnant individuals are not advised to undergo this type of therapy.
Yes, all our environments are grouped within a single application.
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